Friday, January 22, 2010

Living, what looks may be a novel in the future

I feel

or think

that i may be able to write a novel about this time of my life

a good college novel

I don't think there any good ones I like

None that have things like

The student sits in the classroom, he knows this professor rambles and is suffering from mental illness but they have tenure and won't get fired. The student is a junior and has become an expert at knowing when a professor is actually going to say something that will be on the test,and only listens then. The professor is currently talking about their dogs Pookie and Striker.

The student can't find a parking place and ends up parking in the parking lot of a bar. An old black man walks by him and says, "Cold outside" and keeps on walking.

One student opens the door and screams, "There's a deal on Sparks at Circle K"

A five page discussion concerning pizza.

A student sits in the foreign language lab because there are headphones listening to New York staring out a large window at St. Elizabeth's hospital. A big blue cross shadows the landscape. The student remembers that is where he was born, brought into the earth. He looks to the right and sees McDonalds. He thinks McDouble.

Most college novels concern students that went away to school, usually an upper class private school. But currently a lot of students don't go away to school, they take out loans and get grants and go to the local school.

There are no good state university novels.

I don't think it will be like Rules of Attraction, going to a state university isn't so apocalyptic.

The difference between a private college

and a state university

is that the students at state universities can't afford coke.

26 comments:

ryan manning said...

The future is a time period commonly understood to contain all events that have yet to occur. It is the opposite of the past, and is the time after the present. In the Occidental view, which uses a linear conception of time, the future is the portion of the projected time line that is anticipated to occur. In special relativity the future is considered to be absolute future or the future light cone. In physics, time is considered to be the fourth dimension.

In the philosophy of time, presentism is the belief that only the present exists and the future and the past are unreal. Religions consider the future when they address issues such as karma, life after death, and eschatologies that study what the end of time and the end of the world will be. Religious figures have claimed to see into the future, such as prophets and diviners. Organized efforts to predict or forecast the future may have derived from observations by early man of heavenly objects.

Future studies, or futurology, is the science, art and practice of postulating possible futures. Modern practitioners stress the importance of alternative and plural futures, rather than one monolithic future, and the limitations of prediction and probability, versus the creation of possible and preferable futures.

In art and culture, the future was explored in several art movements and genres. The futurism art movement at the beginning of the 20th century explored every medium of art, including painting, sculpture, poetry, theatre, music, architecture and even gastronomy. Futurists had passionate loathing of ideas from the past, especially political and artistic traditions. Instead, they espoused a love of speed, technology, and violence. Futuristic music involved homage to, inclusion of, or imitation of machines. Futurism expanded to encompass other artistic domains and ultimately included industrial design, textiles, and architecture. Science fiction writer Robert A. Heinlein defines sci-fi as "realistic speculation about possible future events, based solidly on adequate knowledge of the real world, past and present, and on a thorough understanding of the nature and significance of the scientific method." More generally, science fiction is a broad genre of fiction that often involves speculations based on current or future science or technology.

DJ Berndt said...

I like it.

"The difference between a private college

and a state university

is that the students at state universities can't afford coke."

Anonymous said...

i don't think i knew anyone at my private school in ohio that did blow. people smoked shitty weed, but you'll find that everywhere

brittany wallace said...

snortskies the riterall

Anonymous said...

i'll buy that book if it it isn't $45 dollars like treatise. or maybe even if it is...

sarah san said...

fuck yes.

Anonymous said...

God's making an example out of me so that people like you can know what you are expected to do:

Noah Cicero said...

i don't think i knew anyone at my private school in ohio that did blow. people smoked shitty weed, but you'll find that everywhere

The only thing I know about private school is from Easton Ellis novels

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Anonymous said...

sounds 'boring'

like 5000 ppl have already written this

Anonymous said...

hey, numb nuts, how come the only character in this thing whose race gets mentioned is the black guy? if the gentleman in question were caucasian would you have written "an old white man..."?

to that end, why didn't you identify the race of the professor? should your readership assume that when you don't bring up a character's race that means he/she is white? will your readership be able to understand the book if it imagines the characters whose races aren't detailed to be spanish or japanese? mexican even? would you recommend anyone in your readership who doesn't live in your white rice-white world to find a different writer to follow? do you get mad at these folks?

if i were asked to categorize your writing in ten or fewer words i'd say: "bukowski very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, lite."

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Anonymous said...

F you anonymous asshole. You give the anonymous's a bad name. I would say it's like Bukowski in some ways but maybe even more honest.

Anonymous said...

@anonymous1: sounds "boring"? So with the boring in quotes that means it's not actually boring or what? do you write hipster runoff? can you recommend one of the 5000 books written about this that is good? i'd like to "check it out"

@anonymous2: i'd really, really, really, really, like to read your awesome perfectly politically correct in every possible way and written for every race on earth except for "white rice" people book. i always wanted to read a book where the race, age and sex of every character is explicitly referenced in every sentence just to be fair, or alternatively never mentioned at all so it's just like "the person said this. then i saw another person, they said that."

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oh hey noah i've been thinking about this same idea for a long time now i'd really like to read something trashy and boring about college life that isn't "i was 'sad' and 'bored' in my 'big house' in 'florida'" if you know what i'm saying also i got this great investment opportunity just check out my blog p.s. i make 1000-2000 a day

Susana Mai said...

@anonymous #5, this is perfect. I completely identified with the hipster runoff "connection."

Also, I don't think there are a lot of college novels. Everyone writes about high school, or about their sucky job. I think it's harder to write about college, and that people think music (Asher Roth, Vampire Weekend) has cornered the college market or something.

I don't think college is accurately displayed. Maybe everyone is actually drinking through funnels and going on Girls Gone Wild, but I feel like talking about pizza for five pages is more realistic (though maybe not as interesting, or plot advancing, or movie materializing).

Also, I live on the East coast, so we only ever think about the 'good' schools. I want to read about community colleges maybe. I read the other day that most community college kids spend their first year taking remedial high school classes because they never learned 'properly.' I want to learn about those people but I feel like those people would be less likely to write a good book. "Those people" has such a bad connotation. I don't know what other phrase to use.

But maybe those people would write a more diverse book. They would not write a white rice-white world book.

I'm white, by the way. Female, 17, 5'7, white as wonder bread with a half pint of brazilian on the side. I have brown hair. I wear size 9 shoes. I'm 130 pounds on an okay day. Does that change anything? Change the way you look at my post?

I think the reason people mention ethnicities at all is because otherwise you would assume the person is white, because white is the 'norm.' So it's necessary to describe people who are not the norm. I see the necessity though of calling white people white, if only to be fair. But I wonder if this is necessary in books written by blacks or hispanics or asians, etc. Is it assumed that everyone is black/hispanic/asian unless they don't say so? I wonder...

Anonymous said...

i don't see a necessity of calling out every person's race/never mentioning any person's race in fiction. no one - of any race - who writes books does this.

Anonymous said...

is it worth editing yourself so you can seem more 'just' if you are destroying the truth of the sentence?

i certainly don't think so.

Anonymous said...

I honestly feel the only reason someone would make a flash judgment accusing Noah of racial discrimination is because of his association with naive (and sometimes blatantly ignorant) modern writers. These commenters obviously haven't read any of his books, but they probably won't because his books come up recommended on Amazon right next to some awful bullshit like "Eat When You Feel Sad."
It's just a fucked-up little circle that fosters and encourages vapidity and insincerity. And I think it's unfortunate, to a certain degree, that Noah gets lumped into it. Young, impressionable people who read MuuMuu house writers are more likely to buy Noah's books, but people who dislike those writers (or view them as racist or homophobic) wouldn't give him a chance based on association.
And that sucks.
Because after all, according to the sentiment of most of the 'neutral facial expression' circle, it's all about money and internet notoriety. 'Mad hits', right?

Anonymous said...

nice post. thanks.

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I've been pondering about this alot... and I agree with you to some degree.
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