Friday, April 24, 2009

Things I've learned after this sweet year of college

on the fourth floor of debartlo hall there is a foreign language lab that has computers with headphones.

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There is Sumatra coffee at the beat.
There is blue note coffee in the library that makes me burp an hour after i drink it.
Kilcawly has mexican organic coffee.
Cushwa has henry's blend.

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if you take a class on Plato's Republic, don't expect anything awesome to happen.

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There are three hot asian chicks that get coffee at cushwa MWF around 9:35.

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College did not teach me that life is pointless, i learned that at work.

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College is very big in promoting life.

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If you decide to talk to a professor about something discussed in class they will go into a long weird monologue regardless of what you say.

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professors who wear jogging suits are funny.

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professors who wear jogging suits don't grade hard.

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Professors wearing ties think they are badass and will demand you memorize Griswald V. Conn..

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Eisenstadt v. Baird is about condoms.

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The Republic takes place in a porn theater.

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How to make thought experiments: if there is a toad on an island and he wants the palm trees to get along with the ocean he needs to design a system of justice that patterns a zero end game.

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Even though there are many attractive women at colleges, that does not mean any of them will talk to you.

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I'm going to start a heavy metal band and name it Amicus Curiae and still not get pussy.

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I was doing silverware at work three weeks ago and felt really bored. I starting thinks thoughts that could only arise out of boredom and I realized, I haven't dated anyone in three or four years.

It never occurred to me to date anyone.

I've had drunken sex but not dated anyone.

I started to think I needed to get a girlfriend and then nothing happened.

Then I started to think I needed money and then nothing happened.

Then I considered what it would be like to swim better and then nothing happened.

Then I pondered having a better smile and then nothing happened.

Then they led me to the gallows.

If anyone wants to be my girlfriend.

You can be.

This is was a romantic poem to the all powerful vagina that lies between your legs.

I probably need to be less embarrassing.

But you don't live in Youngstown and I don't have to see any of you and it doesn't fucking matter what I say.

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In college a person may have a lot of time to do nothing.

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I'm doing a poll

has anyone's life improved since google bought blogger

i feel like a bird soaring high above the clouds everytime an internet company buys another internet company which I suppose consists in buying nothing but a brand name.

i feel really good about it

i buy a cake from dairy queen everytime i hear about a merger

7 comments:

Glen Binger said...

"If you decide to talk to a professor about something discussed in class they will go into a long weird monologue regardless of what you say."

And they still won't answer your question.

Eikþyrnir said...

I sort of really love reading your blog, always. I feel thankful it exists. I'm not even sure why I like it so much.
But I do.
I thought I'd tell you.

anna said...

you're the bessstttt

Noah Cicero said...

eikbyrnir

i read on your blog you bought a uke

can you play

i got a uke

we can jame sometime

the e minor on a uke doesn't sound as good as it does on a guitar

I've been playing the blues on it.

Annie said...

I can't play it, no, just started taking lessons.
So I look forward to the day that I can "jam"

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

i really enjoyed this one.

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