Thursday, August 07, 2008

Raining on a Writer

I was driving down to the gas station to get diet pepsi with Bernice.

The tire went flat.

I have or had a tire on the car that had a slow leak for the last year. I think it was the rim and not the tire. The tire kept going down and it wore away the sides of the tire. The tire finally blew.

I pulled into the gas station.

I got the jack out of the back of the car. But it was a jack for a ford escort and not a lumina. A lumina weighs like a 1000 pounds more and is like five inches higher than a 1994 Ford Escort.

I put the jack up.

Unscrewed the tire

Threw on the spare.

Then the jack slid out of its position, and was wedged beneath the tire, bernice yelled.

A cop came over and a guy named Eric who was driving a 1985 Pontiac Lamans. He told me he works for the blue beacon, which is place that washes semi-trucks.

The cop and the Eric were like, "Lets pick up the car and pull out the jack."

I stood there looking at it, they kept saying it like it was a great idea. I kept looking and said, "The tire isn't screwed on yet, if we pull that car up to get the jack, the tire will fall off, then the car will slam to the ground."

They looked at me like I was an asshole. But realized I was right.

Eric was really nice and helpful.

We asked the cop if he had a jack.

He said, "I have two shot guns, tear gas, a gas mask, a bullet proof vest, four stun guns, a bazooka and a dead hooker but no jack."

The cop left.

We had to call Bernice's sister to bring the hydro jack because the jack was stuck under the tire.

We all kept laughing.

It started raining.

We stood out in the rain.

Eric said he was going home to drink beer.

We believed him.

Eric left in his Lamans.

The till worker at the gas station with long brown and glasses, who we see at least four times a week because we always go to that gas station came out and let us use the gas station flashlight. She was real nice too.

Bernice's sister showed up wearing pajamas with her 9 year old son James. James is helpful. James got the hydro jack out and we were saved.

Now we have to get a rim and tire for the lumina.

The reason I didn't fix the rim was because the guy at the tranny shop told me that the tranny was going to break.

I believed him.

That was like seven months ago when there was snow outside.

The car is still running. And after he did the tranny turn up it hasn't slipped.

So, I'm thinking about going up to the shop and bitching at the guy and asking him to buy me a new tire and rim because according to him the car should be fucking broke. So now I have to get a new tire and rim and still fucking wait for the tranny to break.