Saturday, September 08, 2007
What right do we have?
I meet people all the time with ambition, who want things, who think, they deserve things, all kinds of things, like fame, a higher pay, respect, new things, pretty things, things they don't need and could live without, they have dreams, they love America.
I meet people all the time who have arrested development because somebody ass fucked them when they were seven, or they saw their dad get shot in the backyard, or their mom pimped them out for crack etc. And these seven year olds grow up to get adult bodies, and because they have adult bodies and catscans don't show they are mentally fucked, they are forced to try to survive in the workforce and they suck, and everyone at work hates them because they act like little kids, and the world hates them, and they don't know what to do because they are seven year olds trapped in adult bodies, and like seven year olds they are confused and easily hurt, and they want adults to love them, and they are fucked.
I remember when I worked at Taco Bell back in 2000, there was this over weight woman that would come to the drive through around midnight a couple of times a week. She was always alone. She sat in her car at the window looking sad, not speaking, being over weight, coming home from work, she would order a lot of food, I would give it to her, and she drove somewhere. She would get to her house and undress and look off, not thinking about anything, eat her Taco Bell, and go to sleep alone, and this was her life.
Today a woman down the street from me who is 97 years old fell and got hurt, the police and ambulance came, within twenty minutes her whole family was there, and I mean the whole family. The grandkids flew over on bicycles, people were crying smoking cigarettes in the yard, there were tears, everyone was worried, saying, "Don't worry grandma we love you, you'll be okay." She must have been a nice lady, because they looked worried.
I realized today Kurt Cobain signified the lower-classes becoming Frank Wheeler, that the lower-classes could not even escape the Frank Wheelerfication of their beings. I mean look at The Warrior, that girl is poor as shit, but still she is neurotic and Frank Wheeler like.
Realized too, there is no difference between Frank Wheeler and John Givings, it is just that John Givings knows he is Frank Wheeler and Frank Wheeler does not know he is Frank Wheeler.
All Americans are Frank Wheeler, some know they are Frank Wheeler and some do not, some think they aren't Frank Wheeler and that everyone else is Frank Wheeler and they are not Frank Wheeler, but actually have gone to new levels of Frank Wheelerism.
I'm reading electric kool aid acid test, I'm almost done, The Merry Pranksters are like a bunch of Frank Wheelers on acid. Think about what it means to be on acid, you lay on the floor and do nothing, and things happen internally, but from a third person point of view you are doing nothing. I still like the book though, not the writing so much, but I'm Frank Wheeler.
There should be commercials, kids going instead, "I am Michael Jordan."
They go, "I am Frank Wheeler."
or, "I am Frank Wheeler but I know I am Frank Wheeler so therefore I am John Givings."