Tuesday, May 29, 2007

WHY BEING POOR SUCKS MORE THAN IT SHOULD

I work for seven dollars an hour 32 hours a week dishwashing.

I'm poor.

I don't have health care, life insurance, a 401k, I run out of money before my next pay check, blah blah crappiness.

But I live with someone who makes money too.

And we share the money.

We help each other out.

We have shoes, cars with car insurance, coats, pants, a place to live, the internet.

We have everything a rich person has, but cheaper.

But this is where it gets shitty.

When you don't make much money your bosses treat you like expendable pieces of shit.

I have taken a total seven days off work, the days aren't in order also.

I took them off to go to a reading, someone is visiting from new york, and to go camping.

The boss tells me she might hire someone to replace me because i did that.

But at the same time there are servers who can pick and choose what days they want to work because they are in college or the boss finds them attractive.

Today the drain under the dishtank kept flooding and i had to work in three inches of 180 degree water.

I go home stinking like garbage everyday.

I asked to become bartender and she refused, why, may you ask. She replied, "I like my men in the kitchen."

I'm the only person that works there that closes five days a week because I'm the dishwasher.

I have not once in six months called off or shown up late.

I've had to clean shit off the bathroom floor twice, and an unknown female worker keeps wiping her bloody tampons all over the bathroom walls and i had to clean it up.

it's like I make 7 dollars an hour.

What do you expect from me?

This is why the phrase, "Pick yourself by your bookstraps," pisses me off.

I mean, it is not only hard for the poor to gather up enough luxery time and money to go to school.

But they really beat down your confidence.

And children get this.

Poor people have poor parents, parents whose confidence is just beat down because of years of this shit.

And this attitude of not having any self-confidence seeps into their children's brains and becomes their attitude of having no confidence.

I have not heard once in the six months I've worked the boss tell one employee "good job," or, "Do you want a free meal you've done good today," or even "thanks."

How can a person live without consideration?

To me inconsiderate people scorn life.

They hate life.

They hate themselves and everyone else around them.

We are born onto some strange planet in the middle of a nowhere universe.

We got people and we got nature.

Make friends, you don't need to love humanity.

But you need to not take them for granted, you need to realize that you need them and they need you, that are working together to make this world happen.

You need not to take trees and plants and animals for granted, you need them.

I sound like a hippy.

But what the fuck.

life is just fucking better when people go up to other people and shake hands and say things like, "Your hair looks nice today, your eyes are a pretty blue, you are a nice person, you have a cool car, you're awesome, I think your sweet, you make a good steak, thank you, your welcome etc."

47 comments:

chapman said...

i'm glad this blog exists. it's the only one i always like to read.

i can't solve any of the practical problems noah talks about.

but the main problem he's really talking about is always the insanity of people, the unthinking nature of domestic fascism, and the pitiful spectacle of little tiny people acting big.

if everybody read noah things, they might slow down their absurdity. the world could be better.

everybody should read noah things.

Ken Baumann said...

I agree.

Noah: Thank you for talking about these things. I really enjoy reading your blog and think you are an incredibly talented writer.

That was easy. Complimenting people is easy. It is fun. It feels good.

People rely so much on the manipulation of power to make themselves feel good about their existence.

I'm sorry that your boss is a terrible person.

colin bones said...

i washed dishes for some months a few years ago. i liked it and wouldn't have minded it except the type of place it was. it was a huge really fancy on broadway restaurant connected to a gigantic fancy hotel. there was only one dishwasher and i had to wash many (maybe all, i don't know) dishes from room service. i wasn't as good or fast as the mexican washers and i felt really embarrassed whenever i got overwhelmed, which was often. One night i realized how much i hated my job and that it made me hate the other parts of my life by association. i thought about quitting, and then i realized that even if i quit immigrants will have to wash all the dishes in my country and they will never have good jobs in their lives, while in 20 years i'll be teaching english or some bullshit. Realizing the enormous sadness of that i started crying a little and my fears fell in the dish water. i quit that night without two weeks notice and just walked away.

This is too long, but i just agree so much that being poor is much worse than it has to be.

Why the fuck is finding a job so hard? A friend recommended me for a great job i could walk to for 10 dollars an hour. i disclosed that i had a misdemeanor on my record from being arrested protesting for peace and getting pepper sprayed twice. They called me back later and asked some loaded questions about it "What were you chanting?" and then asked me to write an account and bring in the police record. i did this and then they sent a letter and said i would not be hired. For a misdemeanor. For the legal equivalent of a traffic ticket.

Also once my dishwasher overflowed too; it's pretty terrible isn't it?

Being poor could be much easier, but then how would the people in Dubai go skiing in the summer?

Gene said...

i've noticed that most people who are assholes have never washed dishes or waited on tables or done any number of shitty repetitive jobs for money.

in my factory, the biggest jerks in the office are the guys that have never sat out in the shop for nine hours, in the heat, doing the same motion until their hands cramp up. they don't understand how fortunate they are. instead, they complain about how they won't have a ranch home to retire on, and vote for republicans who don't give a shit about inflation and the distance between upper and lower classes.

no one rationalizes their actions. no one thinks about how stupid their dumb life is, and how important it is to just be nice and do good things for other people, even if it is a little difficult to do so sometimes.

olly said...

everyone should have to work a job where they are paid nothing.

i was a waitress, a donut shop worker, and a cashier at a dirty grocery store. waitressing was okay. it wasn't a great place; cheap food means cheap tips. but you have to learn to deal with people, you get to know them in ways you might not otherwise, and this is bad and good. old women would come into the restaurant and steal, they'd steal and stuff half of their hot dog in their purse for later, and that was really, really horrible and sad to watch. the store was worse: families buying frozen shit burritos because they were cheap, and that's it. the worst part was how small people can make you feel, because you are in that apron, and your name is on it, and they think you are a stupid shit with no ambition because you took the job. i hated myself because i would find a way to talk about "paying my way through school" which makes it worse, that i tried to be better than the job or the people around me who weren't temporarily there, and the whole thing was ugly and bad.

the health insurance part is the worst. i never had coverage for meds, so everything i made went to my meds, and sometimes that left me with NOTHING. and sometimes i couldn't get my meds. which made it harder to keep a job, which of course keeps things cycling.

noah, have you ever seen "the des bishop work experience"? it is a comic from ireland who takes minimum wage jobs and exposes not only how shitty they are, but how shitty they make you feel. i don't know if you can buy it in the us. but it's good. he's good.

MadisonGlass said...

I'm sorry you're all poor. Still, every company I've ever worked for has screwed me out of health care. I've worked forty hours a week at most of those jobs.

But it's great. Growing up rich means your parents chip in about $900 on your $1,216 a month of mental health care because they feel guilty you're so fucked up that you can't hold down a job.

Go money. Smoke it if you've got it. Wait for parents to die. Love them. Hope their plane goes down.

Further your debt Noah. Go back to school. Get a BA in accounting.

P.S. Threatening to sue doesn't cost anything. And it works (it worked at Wendy's).

-Love Maddi

Fawzy said...

Fucking leave that place. Don't take that shit. Get a job at another restaurant. Become a server, they make like 30 bucks an hour. Servers are the only ones that get respect at a restaurant. I have a friend who's a server, and has like two restaurant jobs, and has a nice little apartment in miami beach.

Anonymous said...

I would beat that boss to half death.

Koryn said...

I'm sorry, that is shitty. I enjoyed reading this, and I appreciate you sharing your experience. Hopefully you will find a better place to work.

I've been feeling pissy because I was denied my annual raise. I'm a secretary for a bunch of assholes - they told my boss I was not getting their papers filed quickly enough, so now I get no raise. You would think they could have just lowered it or something. These guys are pussies. They should go was dishes for a few months, they really should. And of course I do not dare speak my mind, just smile & wave boys, smile & wave.

Thanks again for sharing :)

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Anonymous said...

I feel you...

I recommend you find another job. Don't quit your current job until you find other employment.

You do not have to tolerate a hostile work environment. The thing with the girl throwing her tampons on the wall, that is simply just disgusting. The mark of a vile selfish creature.

You can surround yourself with much better people.

Save up cash, count the pennies & the dollars will take care of themselves. Use what little you can save to set up wealth generating systems for yourself.

Save up try to become self employed.

Escape, liberate your mind and you are free. Escape the matrix, because it is real. We are slaves to it.

I feel your pain, I understand perfectly with great contempt & disgust your situation.

Stay strong!

Kill such with kindness.

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I have never been rich,but most of my life I've managed to keep a roof over my kids heads. Last year I was doing foreclosure work for banks. Going to vacant homes all over the midwest, changing locks,winterizing them and doing clean-outs. I got sick and ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. Then I was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. Stage IV. Pretty heavy stuff. After a lot of chemo and surgery coming up, I've lost 56 pounds. I had to apply for disability and welfare. Neither of which I've gotten, after months of bullshit. I did get medicaid,but no foodstamps or cash. My rent is 4 months behind and now the engine has seized in our only vehicle. Now I know what it's really like to be dirt fucking poor and let me tell you it SUCKS! The charities and churches don't help,they judge you and look down on you in disdain. The welfare folks said in order to get help,I would have to go to the job training place 40 hours a week. I told that crazy case worker "lady,I can't spend 40 hours a week there when I'm getting treatments half the time and I'm vomitting the rest of the time?" She said "No exceptions!" So now I have to pray my electric and shit don't get shut off, that my landlord don't throw us in the street and that I can find enough food pantries to keep the kids fed. We live on a dirt road 6 miles from anything and a car with a blown engine. Life is hard being this poor. Our life savings? Gone. Everything we worked for Gone. Yes being poor and sick sucks ass!

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Heather said...

Being por is slightly hoping you get laid off because then you are eligble for training.

being poor and working is realizing that after all the deductions you would be getting $50 more on welfare but you can't quit because that makes you ineligble for welfare.

having been ok and now am poor again people think your not poor because you still have your nice stuff from before.

being poor is knowing if I refuse the benifits offered in a couple months I can be turned down when I can afford to pay it.

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Anonymous said...

being Poor does suck , I used to be depressed all the time and pretty much hate everyone and everything in general...But I have to remember the positive things in life , simple small things...and they keep me going. As long as you have dreams , keep going after them ...and as much mud as we trend in to get there even mud can be beautiful in its own right if you have a closer look...not something to stop and look at but something we can respect no matter how disgusting it may appear. Being poor is humiliating and sucks , but at the same time everyone who gets real big started out poor..Why? Because they where so damn sick of it! Some of the best artist will paint the things they hate the most ...because they hate it ...turning their misfortune into their advantage. Ambition ... Determination is strongest in the people who have nothing. When you do make it out of the mud , remember how it felt to be down in it and you will never find yourself down in it again, taking what you learned with you .

Anonymous said...

I love the point that Noah makes: A Positive Mental Attitude manifests itself in confidence. And confidence is essential to any kind of success. HOWEVER... one's environment and upbringing dictate, or at the very least influence, a person's state of mind. When our parent's infuse our psyche with a sense of doom and those around us use their positions to psychologically opress us (usually to feel better about their miserable existences), it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to feel any sense of the personal power necessary to extract ourselves from what seems to be an impossible situation. What truly "sucks" is when we begin to genuinely believe that we are the low-life losers that these other broken people would have us be. When this happens and we allow them to feed off of our emotional corpses, the inevitable outcome is that we become one of them. Kudos to you for being YOU; not what you do.

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