Thursday, January 25, 2007

poems

Waffle House

I was at Waffle House
tonight
reading
life and fate

i kept drinking coffee
and having to go pee

i kept thinking
everyone is looking at me
and wondering
why that asshole is
peeing so much

Today

Today i laid in bed
and waited for the day to pass
i actually thought
i wish i could work today
so i wouldn't have to be
faced with doing stuff
because my car is broke
and needs to be fixed
so i can't spend money
so i sit around the house
and wait for the day to pass
i keep thinking about
getting some guy from PA
to paint the car neon green
if it ever runs again

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"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a 'man,' Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly, he'll basically give you a hard time. He'll be bigger, faster, and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, But, he'll be pretty good in the sack."
"I can put up with that," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"Yeah well, he's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, there is one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
:D :D :D

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